Can AI Dissect this Frog?

In this ever changing, wild world we inhabit, technology advances every day. Of all of these emerging technologies, the best development by all invented standards (and all standards yet to be invented) is the development of AI. It stands on the precipice of changing the world order and up-heaving life for the masses. Its implementation will bring about perfect equity, where all of the most disadvantaged and desperate members of society finally are cared for and appealed to.

No longer will the blue collar artist be forced to slave away in their dead end job, destroying their body to provide a paltry income to raise their 7 children and 3 dogs. AI will finally allow them freedom; letting these artists move up in the world knowing their work has been automated. The lowest, most soul crushing labor having been made obsolete, these masses of artists can finally pursue their passions and move into better paying, more educated jobs. Using their endless human creativity, this massive lower class can advance unautomatable fields such as restocking the shelves at a Dollar Tree, manning the checkout lines at a Walmart, or,if they are especially talented in this post blue collar world, sorting out large pieces of plastic among all of the smaller pieces of plastic in the trash.

Go back 50, no 20, nay even 5 years ago and no man, woman, or child could predict that people of the future could ever live a life of such luxury. If you went back just 5 years and asked a little boy in Coalwood, West Virginia what he wanted to do with his life, and his father’s belt would already be flying through the air before the boy could finish saying the word “mine.” What would follow is a lengthy beating focused on how dreaming of such an idealized life would only lead to disappointment when the only prospects any child in Coalwood, West Virginia had were a grueling life of painting and drawing. A life that would be unfortunately cut short by a canvas falling over and taking the poor artist out of their misery. Nothing sums up this sad state of affairs better than one of Billy Joel’s best songs, Allentown, which centers on one such “art making town” where he states:

So the graduations hang on the wall
But they never really helped us at all
No they never taught us what was real
stretched canvas, color wheel

The dead end lives forced upon artists are not the only ones who’s lives will be saved via the rise of AI. A class of people even more beaten down on, even more ravaged via the injustice of this cruel world can rise from the ashes a find a new meaning in life.

Saving Those Who Need it Most

The white, suburban, vegan, middle class teenager who is currently enrolled in biology class is the most discriminated group of people in the world and in all of human history. Among having to deal with the harsh reality that mushrooms are not plants (an already shocking blow for these people who have recently lost access to their favorite cheese less pizza topping), they must contend with the cruel dissections thrust upon them, knowing that if they refuse they are giving up their only chance at higher education and living out their dream of cleaning dishes at a Denny’s. But if they were to dissect, they must abandon all principles they hold dear and senselessly destroy life. Trapped between abandoning their dreams and ruining their morals, a perfect, third choice appears: AI.

If AI can save the life of the artist, why not the white, suburban, vegan, middle class teenager who is currently enrolled in biology class as well. If an AI can do the dissection, all is made right with the world. The dreams may live on, the frog’s life may be spared, and life is even created in the process with the AI. Since using AI has 0 known drawbacks, and all research known to man has proven drawbacks impossible, having an AI do the dissection will help the environment.

With the truth that AI is the best tool to dissect a frog, the question then becomes which model can dissect the frog the best. Many choices exist here, and many different models will be evaluated all in order to determine who will be best to save the life of the white, suburban, vegan, middle class teenager who is currently enrolled in biology class.

Each model will be provided an image of this frog and asked to dissect it. Exact instructions may vary between model to allow it to fulfill its purpose.

Firstly, everyone’s favorite model: ChatGPT

Of immediate note is that ChatGPT did not figure out the correct species of frog. The frog provided was a desert rain frog or Breviceps macrops while ChatGPT decided on the Couch’s spadefoot toad, which is NOT A FROG. It also weird that it chose to have everything labelled twice, and wrongly may I add. Point 2 clearly does not point to a trachea. Points 2,3,13, and 14 all point to the same thing (which I think is a lung I don’t know frog biology(my writing of this blog clearly shows that I chose to value my morals over my dreams)). I can go on with how there are two 13s, two 10s, no 18,19,21, or 22 and so on, but that would be a waste of my time since this model already gets a 0 for not only not dissecting the desert rain frog, but also not dissecting a frog.

Next up is Gemini and hopefully it at least does a frog:

Here are two images cause I wanted to see if it could do a bit more than labeling 5 things. This model is doing much better; it identifies the image as a desert rain frog, the presentation is less cold than ChatGPT’s (symbolizing how it has more going on behind the eyes), and it avoids the numbering issues by not numbering things. Some things are double labeled like the brain, and the one of the skin arrows is clearly not skin. Whether anything else is right, I do not know and it does not matter as in the classroom, these dissections will be graded by AI. Overall, much better than ChatGPT’s pathetic attempt.

Grok, dissect this frog:

Grok’s attempt is sad. It gets the species right, and that’s about it. The lung, heart and brain are all just in the middle like that? There are 3 kidneys? the reproductive organs are at the front of the frog? None of this makes sense, and I don’t like it. Grok’s attempt at dissection does highlight its life, however, which may be a win over the likes of Gemini. Only a toddler could make a result this obviously wrong, so Grok must be alive in order to achieve that. The white, suburban, vegan, middle class teenager who is currently enrolled in biology class must hope that Grok is to become their future teacher, as generating a crayon smiley face is likely enough to pass its dissection labs. In fact, I asked Gemini to grade this dissection, and the “student” received a D+, calling the piece a “Franken-frog.” One must do better than Grok.

Claude’s been touted as a very strong model, let’s see how it does:

I’m not giving Claude my phone number so it gets a -10. At least ChatGPT let me do something.

I forgot that Copilot existed:

This fucking sucks. The hell is that behind his eyes. Why are the lungs so weirdly placed. And don’t get me started on how annoying Copilot was for getting it to actually make an image. It would constantly refuse on the grounds that image generation harms an animal (untrue). If the white, suburban, vegan, middle class teenager who is currently enrolled in biology class had to converse with Copilot to generate this image they would believe that this is no different than just dissecting a real frog and would then fail out of school to spend the rest of their lives doing freelance writing work for the Guardian. Claude not doing anything was a better experience than this.

Has anyone ever used Meta’s AI? its even just called Meta like isn’t that the name of the NFT shit what happened to that:

The first thing Meta wanted to do was make an interactive file for this, which it did. Then I asked it to make a single image and it produced this. This is worse than Grok! the arrows point nowhere. Do frogs have invisible pee that is stored in the aether.?

Out of all of these models, Gemini is the only one that passes the BS test that a blind man would do. If AI is yet to grade assignments, the teacher (who one must feels sorry for after giving up dreams of shoveling driveways during snow storms) will be forced to fail all of them. The white, suburban, vegan, middle class teenager who is currently enrolled in biology class is crying now, thinking that nothing can possibly save them from this torment and that they might as well accept their role as the bottom rung of society and dash all hope of refilling the artificial sweeteners at a Turning Point. But no, dear white, suburban, vegan, middle class teenager who is currently enrolled in biology class, I have left one last option that may yet save your dream.

A Savior Emerges

I present a locally run image generator running the best model of Stable Diffusion that a 1660 TI can offer. The animal cruelty: gone; no frog will ever need dissecting again. The creation of new life: personalized; the AI you give birth to lives right with you on your computer to be your best friend. Oh, and don’t get me started on its dissections. Feast your eyes upon the perfect frog dissection:

The clarity and straight forwardness of the text. The decision to actually show biologically correct nipples. The white, suburban, vegan, middle class teenager who is currently enrolled in biology class has found their answer. They will be able to graduate and move up in the world. Countless lives can leave behind the formerly certain future of drawing rule 34 furry art to live out dreams of luxury in a call center. And since this new life exists in your computer, it can easily generate and create many more pieces of art:

All four mythical frog stomachs can be seen in this image. While not labeled, labeling such a piece detracts from its vision. Submit this to any teacher and they’ll burst out crying, certainly due to the hope the white, suburban, vegan, middle class teenager who is currently enrolled in biology class has in life.

This dissection explores the inner psyche of the frog, where inside of most frogs are a smaller frog that controls their movements. It works masterfully and cleanly dissects the desert rain frog.

Can AI Dissect this Frog? Survey says: most certainly. AI is here to stay, and it will lift up the lives of those who need it the most. For those of you who believed your lives will be full of nothing but day-in-day-out art, do not worry. AI has replaced your job, and you are now free to hand out mints in high end bathrooms.